Why?

Why has this happend to me? Why has this happend to Eddie and I? I don't understand what we have done to deserve this. I really don't know how to process that one of my babies is sick. We have just been settling into the idea that we will be welcoming two babies into our lives this summer.

I feel guilty because we had no clue how we were going to make life work with two babies. But at the same time we were getting excited about it too. I feel like I have let me child down. Our little bean is sick and it is something that Eddie or I have. Yet we had no clue. If this has happend what else will happen.

Another feeling I have is how can I be excited about this pregnancy. We want our babies. They are a wanted addition to our family. Eddie and I have been together for nearly 7 years. We have been married for over 3 years and everyone was starting to think we would never start a family.

I just don't know what to think right now. I know that the next two weeks are going to be hard. The doctor said "A" would most likely not make it 2 more weeks. I hate the fact that I am not going to know when he or she leave us. I hate that we will go to the doctor in two weeks and he or she will be gone.