D Day.

Three years ago today was Sophia's DIAGNOSIS DAY. I remember quite a few details of January 16, 2008 very clearly.

I went to work, I remember the dress I had on. I remember walking into the office and fighting with them about our insurance. I remember Eddie getting there after the insurance issue. I remember us sitting there by the door. I remember thinking that everyone seemed uptight and we did not belong there, hoping we only had to come once. We got called in, I went to the restroom. I laid down the doctor came in, did his thing and then he showed us Sophia. He told us she looks like a girl due to her abnormalities. He showed us all the fluid on her lungs, heart and showed us her Hygroma. He told us she had what looked like Turner's Syndrome, Hydrops and a sever Cystic Hygroma. He said this is a leather combination, in his best guess she would die in the next two weeks. When he said that my eyes welled up. I had nothing to say. Eddie grabbed my hand and rubbed it. Eddie asked how we would know she had passed away. He told us I would not feel it and to come back in two weeks so we can check everything out.

As we were walking out of the appointment a nurse asked us if we would like a DVD of the Ultrasound. I shook my and walked out of the office. Thinking back on that I wish I would have said yes.

Three years ago today I lost the innocence of pregnancy.

I am much better today than I was 2 years ago. But that is because Sophia is an everyday part of our lives now. I feel that Sophia is a healthy part of my life.