Saturday, February 23, 2008

17w1d: Well Thursday I did not sleep at all. I never seem to sleep the night before our appointments. Eddie came home Thursday night so sick. He took some meds and went straight to bed. I went to work yesterday in the morning and left around noon.

Since Eddie is sick my mom came down just in case he got too sick to drive home since Dr. Tabsh's office told us to be prepared to be there 3 1/2 to 5 hours. So we went and had an early dinner at "The Shack" got to see Uncle Bob, that was nice. Then we went to the Santa Monica mall only to find out it was closed for remodeling. We walked around Macy's for a bit to waste some time, my mom and I browsed all the baby clothes, that is always fun. Then is was time for us to go to UCLA/Santa Monica.

We got there at 6:15 and it took us 15 minutes to find out where we were going. We found it and took a seat. We finally were seen at 9:15.

Eddie and I believe it was well worth that wait. So Eddie, my mom and I went in, waited for another 15 minutes while the doctor finished working on some other charts. Then we did the Ultrasound. Dr. Tabsh did about a 15 minute ultrasound. He then kept going back to the same place and then he marked the center of my lower belly with a red X. He told me to get up and go to the bathroom and then we will talk.

So as I walked to the bathroom I began to cry. I figured he was going to proceed with the reduction since he had the X on me. I really REALLY did not want reduction. My personal feeling is that she could be OK. There are always medical miracles.

So I composed myself and went back to the office. Eddie and my mom had changed rooms to a room with a table and four chairs. So we sat and talked. Dr. Tabsh told us he is there to give us all of our options. Then he gave is the options.

A) Terminate the entire pregnancy, but he did not think that was necessary.

B) Reduce "A" but he did not really advise on that since the sick baby is "A" and there could be several issues, such as bleeding, ruptured membranes, most likely premature labor and there would be a 2% chance we would loose the entire thing.

C) Nothing! Nothing, would be that nature takes it course and that would be best for "B" since it would be less time that "A" would be sitting on top of my cervix when she passes. The risks we run are less with letting it be.

He also said he does not think that "A" would survive the entire pregnancy, if she does she probably will not last long after birth due to the issues she has. After Eddie asked all the questions we had, like should we do an amnio on "B"? He said no, I am young and "B" is healthy enough he does not see it necessary. I asked if the Placentas are fused or one? He said fused. I asked if by any chance he saw the sex of "B" he said she is defiantly a girl.

So we ended the conversation with Dr. Tabsh telling us if I was his daughter that he would not recommend the reduction. So Eddie and I decided not to proceed. He also said if we would like we can see him anytime. He also recommended that we see Dr. Shah every three to four weeks. So at 11:00pm we left Santa Monica with our two little girls.

I know that Eddie has been the more rational one in this whole ordeal but I really could not put myself through reduction. I would know we set the date that we let our little girl go. I could not live with that. I guess Eddie has been more rational about this. As a mother I could not make that decision unless it was a last resort.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

16w4d: Second appointment with Dr. Shah this afternoon. Baby "A" is still with us and Baby "B" "looks like a girl, the key words are looks" says Dr. Shah! "A" is measuring at 15w3d and "B" is measuring at 17w0d.

So now "A" is not growing properly as well as her other problems. Up until now hopes were high because she was growing still. Now things have taken another turn for the worse. The last month has been hell.

Eddie was so excited, from the beginning he has always said they were two girls. Now Eddie keeps referring to "B" as his little princess. I hope that blows over.

As I said before "A" is still with us. To me it seems like my main focus is "A" and Eddie's is "B". Don't get me wrong that mommy instinct has set in and I love both of my girl equally. I just really want to bring both of my girls home. That is my main focus.

As a mentioned in a previous post we now have to go see another specialist for a more in depth Ultrasound to find out if we can or should do reduction. Dr. Shah refereed us to a specialist out of Good Samaritan Hospital. in Los Angeles. I called her office on the way home as Dr. Shah had already called he to get us an appointment ASAP as we are running out of time to do anything.

Reduction has been brought up to us for the last month. I hate that this may be our only option to bring home one of these girls. Reduction needs to be done before 20 weeks.

So she scheduled me for 11 am on Friday. About 45 minutes later we get a call back from her office saying that they don't accept Blue Cross PPO and if we wanted to see that doctor it would be $1805. So I called Dr. Shah's office back to find out if he has another doctor to refer us to. Eddie got on the phone with Blue Cross to find out what we can do. Dr. Shah's office called us back and found us another doctor.

Then 5 minutes later Dr. Shah, personally called us back and asked what had happened and why we were changing doctors. I told him our issue. He warned me that the new doctor does not have good bed side manner but is just as good as the first doctor. Dr. Shah knows our problem that we had with Dr. DeVore and did not want us to have the same problem again. So Eddie and I talked about it and have decided to see the second doctor, that appointment is Friday at 7:00pm at UCLA/Santa Monica. We were told when making the appointment be prepared for a 3hr wait. I hope this guy is good.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

15w5d: Well I guess that moving last week was really moving. We were in bed this morning and I felt it again. I told Eddie what was happening and he felt it too. I was very exciting. I was such a great family moment. I am really treasuring my moments with both of my children. I am still hopefully a miracle will come from everything.

We had a early Valentine's dinner with Eddie's parents.

Friday, February 1, 2008 14 Weeks

14w0d: Day one of the second trimester. To sum it up I would say it was not half as bad as I was expecting pregnancy wise. Spent three weeks practically in hibernation. Only had nausea three mornings, which never resulted in actually throwing up. Got a cold for 11 days.

Found out 1 is 2. Found on 2 will become 1. Found out "A" is a girl, the jury is still out on "B". Still working on processing all of this news. There has been so much to take in and to read. The Internet is a crazy thing. It is good and bad.

Tried to get Buster & Boz to sleep in the living room, that did not go over too well, as they took turns scratching at the door and crying. Now they are back in the room, but not on the bed.

Friday, February 1, 2008

14w0d: Had third actual scheduled appointment with Dr. Prema. We had another ultrasound. Went over everything that has been going on. She always has a great way of calming me down and letting Eddie and I know that it is what it is and it is in God's hands.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

13w5d: Contacted Dr. Prema to get the name of another specialist and we now have an appointment with Dr. Shah on February 5th, my mom's birthday!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

13w4d: Eddie and I went back to Dr. DeVore today. Our little "A" is a fighter. "B" looks good still. We did not see eye to eye with Dr. DeVore after he did the Ultrasound he asked us if we had thought about our options. Well the problem is he never gave us options. Eddie asked the doctor a question and the nurse rolled her eyes like it was a stupid questions. So after we talked about it we have decided to contact Dr. Prema to see if there is another specialist we can see.

Monday, January 21, 2008

12w3d: Since Eddie and I have been paranoid about everything, I went to urgent care tonight for cramping. Cramping turned out to be another bladder infection and dehydration. So due to the circumstances they did an ultrasound and blood work, it turns out the cramping is another bladder infection and Dehydration. I don’t have a clue how I can be dehydrated when I have been drinking over 100 oz of water a day. Baby “A” is still fighting. Baby "B" is a thumb sucker.

Why?

Why has this happend to me? Why has this happend to Eddie and I? I don't understand what we have done to deserve this. I really don't know how to process that one of my babies is sick. We have just been settling into the idea that we will be welcoming two babies into our lives this summer.

I feel guilty because we had no clue how we were going to make life work with two babies. But at the same time we were getting excited about it too. I feel like I have let me child down. Our little bean is sick and it is something that Eddie or I have. Yet we had no clue. If this has happend what else will happen.

Another feeling I have is how can I be excited about this pregnancy. We want our babies. They are a wanted addition to our family. Eddie and I have been together for nearly 7 years. We have been married for over 3 years and everyone was starting to think we would never start a family.

I just don't know what to think right now. I know that the next two weeks are going to be hard. The doctor said "A" would most likely not make it 2 more weeks. I hate the fact that I am not going to know when he or she leave us. I hate that we will go to the doctor in two weeks and he or she will be gone.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

11w4d: Eddie and I went to the specialist yesterday and did not get good news. We will be loosing Baby "A" in the next couple of weeks. It has Chromosomal Defects, that now include fluid in the lungs and stomach. Baby "B" seems to be in no harm as of right now. We went to our primary OB/Gyn this morning to follow up with her and she said that there is a 95% chance that everything will be OK with Baby "B". We go back to see the specialist on January 29th to follow up. Eddie and I are doing OK now, considering. The doctor says I will not feel anything when the time comes. So now all our focus is keeping Baby "B" in good shape. Right now it is doing really good. The specialist moved my due date up two more days. In a way I am happy that "B" will be getting a lot of special attention now. Eddie and I are doing OK. We went to a movie last night to keep our minds off of it. The only problem I am having right now is talking on the phone. I am OK typing, just not talking about it. Eddie has been talking to our parents. I am very thankful to have him.Update: Baby "B" was measuring at 2days larger then due date. My due date will stay August 1st, 2008!

Friday, January 4, 2008

10w0d: It has been a month since my last appointment. I am now 10 weeks on the dot. I have been sick for a week now, I wish this cold would go away. Eddie and I went to the doctor. Eddie was in amazement to see our two little ones. Found out today our "official" due date is August 1st. Dr. Prema says we will deliver between July 4th and July 15th if all goes well. I asked her about our small insurance issue and she said no matter what she wants us to deliver at Huntington Memorial, in Pasadena. Eddie is not happy about that, it means a longer car ride with him freaking out. She also refereed us to another specialist to preform better Ultrasounds. So I will be going to the doctor every two weeks. Once a month for each doctor. Just to see our two little pieces of fruit is such a blessing. Now I will see them twice a month and I am very lucky for that. Eddie's face was priceless and I will never forget seeing him like that ever. I would have to say it tops seeing him when we got married. Appointment with the new doctor is January 15th, next appointment with Dr. Prema is February 1st. The two photos on the bottom are A and the top is B. For now they are A and B to us. We have not pet names. Just A and B.

Monday, December 3rd, 2007

5w4d: Scheduled for a doctors appointment tomorrow, office called to change it. Eddie is in Seattle visiting his dad. Asked Eddie what he though, he said to go. So I went and found out the our "Bundle of Joy" is going to be "Our Bundles of Joy". Saw two heart beats, that is good.

I cried, Eddie said he wanted to see the picture when I picked him up from the airport tonight. Ed asked if we were sure one of the heartbeats wasn't mine. So now our world has completely changed. Next doctor's appointment is 1/4/2008.

When Eddie got off the plane and it was not like any other time that we are apart. We were so excited. He even had a book "The Everything Father-To-Be" Book. I am still processing how I feel about this. It is a major shock. I don't know how we are going to do it. I am sure this is what all parents of multiples think and I know they make it work and I sure we will too. WOW that is the word that comes to mind today. That is for sure.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

We are pregnant! 5:00 am could not sleep. Got up and did a test. Got a faint line. Did a digital test and in two minutes got a "Pregnant". Woke up Eddie and he was so excited. Scheduled for a flu shot with my primary doctor today, he confirmed it. We are pregnant. Lots of work to do today, Eddie and I are off to prepared for Thanksgiving tomorrow. We defiantly have something to be thankful for.