Saturday, February 23, 2008

Saturday, February 23, 2008

17w1d: Well Thursday I did not sleep at all. I never seem to sleep the night before our appointments. Eddie came home Thursday night so sick. He took some meds and went straight to bed. I went to work yesterday in the morning and left around noon.

Since Eddie is sick my mom came down just in case he got too sick to drive home since Dr. Tabsh's office told us to be prepared to be there 3 1/2 to 5 hours. So we went and had an early dinner at "The Shack" got to see Uncle Bob, that was nice. Then we went to the Santa Monica mall only to find out it was closed for remodeling. We walked around Macy's for a bit to waste some time, my mom and I browsed all the baby clothes, that is always fun. Then is was time for us to go to UCLA/Santa Monica.

We got there at 6:15 and it took us 15 minutes to find out where we were going. We found it and took a seat. We finally were seen at 9:15.

Eddie and I believe it was well worth that wait. So Eddie, my mom and I went in, waited for another 15 minutes while the doctor finished working on some other charts. Then we did the Ultrasound. Dr. Tabsh did about a 15 minute ultrasound. He then kept going back to the same place and then he marked the center of my lower belly with a red X. He told me to get up and go to the bathroom and then we will talk.

So as I walked to the bathroom I began to cry. I figured he was going to proceed with the reduction since he had the X on me. I really REALLY did not want reduction. My personal feeling is that she could be OK. There are always medical miracles.

So I composed myself and went back to the office. Eddie and my mom had changed rooms to a room with a table and four chairs. So we sat and talked. Dr. Tabsh told us he is there to give us all of our options. Then he gave is the options.

A) Terminate the entire pregnancy, but he did not think that was necessary.

B) Reduce "A" but he did not really advise on that since the sick baby is "A" and there could be several issues, such as bleeding, ruptured membranes, most likely premature labor and there would be a 2% chance we would loose the entire thing.

C) Nothing! Nothing, would be that nature takes it course and that would be best for "B" since it would be less time that "A" would be sitting on top of my cervix when she passes. The risks we run are less with letting it be.

He also said he does not think that "A" would survive the entire pregnancy, if she does she probably will not last long after birth due to the issues she has. After Eddie asked all the questions we had, like should we do an amnio on "B"? He said no, I am young and "B" is healthy enough he does not see it necessary. I asked if the Placentas are fused or one? He said fused. I asked if by any chance he saw the sex of "B" he said she is defiantly a girl.

So we ended the conversation with Dr. Tabsh telling us if I was his daughter that he would not recommend the reduction. So Eddie and I decided not to proceed. He also said if we would like we can see him anytime. He also recommended that we see Dr. Shah every three to four weeks. So at 11:00pm we left Santa Monica with our two little girls.

I know that Eddie has been the more rational one in this whole ordeal but I really could not put myself through reduction. I would know we set the date that we let our little girl go. I could not live with that. I guess Eddie has been more rational about this. As a mother I could not make that decision unless it was a last resort.

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