Thursday, September 29, 2011

" I want the Sweet Dreams"

After our complete day of chaos the sweetest thing happened.

While driving home from my office I happened to be listening to one of the CD's from FOLFOH recommended music and Godspeed came on. Which since Kassi brought this song to my attention I have loved it. But tonight after the song ended Mya asked "again"

We played it about three more times and she was then telling me "sing it with me Mommy"

We got out of the car to run our errand and as soon as we got back in the car " I want the Sweet Dreams"

In the past when Mya likes a song she will want to hear it over and over so she can learn the words. This was no different for the exception that it melted my heart.

Just wanted to share.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I Am Walking In Honor Of

My daughter Sophia Rene and all the other babies who will never take these steps.

Last year due to the fact I am the founder of Walk to Remember Los Angeles I was kind of busy but this year I will walk at least one lap to see all the wonderful names of all the children we celebrate.

The last two nights I have been attending support groups as we are getting into the swing of October now. October is Pregnancy & Infancy Loss Awareness month. I feel like it is always over shadowed by Breast Cancer awareness month but it is the still month long time to remember our babies.

So this year I am happy to say:

Things are getting done, but there is so much more to do. I learned something very important last week. A Grandma that attends the Compassionate Friends Support Group says she views this time as a time to specifically be "M"'s Grandma. So I think I have started to make that my new outlook. I use to say everything I did for WTRLA was in Sophia's Honor. Now I think I will say I the time I spend working on WTRLA is the time I get to spend being Sophia's Mother.

Won't you join me in Walking for Sophia?

Tuesday, September 27, 2011


It never really dawned on my until yesterday night that October is a hard month for families that have lost their children.

The reason..... Halloween is a child's holiday. Which makes so much sense. There is something else the October 31st signifies to me. QUARTER END. Until last year Mya had never really been trick or treating and she did it with her cousin. Her first Halloween I took her for her shots, she was only 4 months old it is not like she needed to go out and get any candy. For her second Halloween I had caught H1N1 and Mya was with my mom. She got to go across the their neighbors and that was it. Last year we went to my Aunt's house in Huntington Beach for Mya to spend it with her cousin.

This year we have no clue what we are doing. All I know if that we are going this Friday to Disneyland for Mickey's Halloween Party and Saturday we are going to take Mya's pictures. But for the rest of Halloween I have no clue. But it did get my thinking, if Mya is going to be a bumble bee would Sophia be a lady bug? It is just the little thoughts that cross your mind.... something to think about.

I leave you with a picture from last Halloween. Our little family!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Being A Twin

I have many friends of loss. As a matter of fact it appears all of my friends are mothers of loss. We have a connection. Some have kids, some don't, some are in their 20's and some are in their 30's. That being said I have few friends that are mother's of surviving twins. IRL (in real life) I have only met 2 sets of parents that are parents like Eddie and I...... Parents of twins. Last Thursday at CF I met a "new" set of parents that now have a surviving twin. It always hurts my heart to know there is another family out there like ours. It also always hurts my heart to find out another baby has passed not matter if they were a twin or not.

One of my friends is "D" and she is a parent of a surviving twin. We both catch ourselves saying "only you will understand this........" it is just that way of understanding. I have a couple other virtual friends that are Mama's of surviving twins as well. One I adore so much and know in my heart one day I will get to meet "B" IRL. 

So in time I have learned to get past the things most commonly said to us twin Mama's.....
                   "At least you got to take home one"
                  "God only blesses you with all you can handle"
                  "Is she your only child"

But with all of that being said I would not give up being Sophia and Mya's Mommy for anything.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

1178 Days

The total number of days between Monday, June 30th, 2008 and Tuesday, September 20th, 2011 is 1,177 days.
This is equal to exactly 3 years, 2 months, and 21 days.
This does not include the end date, so it's accurate if you're measuring your age in days, or the total days between the start and end date. But if you want the duration of an event that includes both the starting date and the ending date, then it would actually be 1,178 days.
The total time span from 2008-06-30 to 2011-09-20 is 28248 hours.
This is equivalent to 1694880 minutes.
You can also convert 1,177 days to 101692800 seconds
Today is 9/20/2011 and 6/30/2008 is exactly 1177 days before today.

What does all of this mean? Well this is the time that has gone by since I have become a mother. It is also the same amount of time since I was a patient at Huntington Memorial Hospital. This is also the time it took me to open up and speak my feeling to them about the various things that happened during my stay there. I think this was a very huge thing for me. I have now told them how I felt about their service and feel like a huge thing has been lifted off my shoulders.

Also since I was there we spoke about WTRLA and what my future plans are for the organization. I have hopes of moving our annual event to Pasadena. So we will see what our new partnership with Huntington Memorial brings for WTRLA!

Now to prepare my speech for October 12th. "A Night to Remember" where I have been asked to be one of the guest speakers.Which I feel will be so much easier now that I have spoke my peace.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Sophia in the mail.

 Thank you Kyna. This really made my day!

I was off of work on Friday for a couple reasons and when I got to work this morning this was there to make my day. Thank you so much Kyna. I love how you always put others before yourself. You are an amazing woman! 

Kyna and Miguel will be the photographers for this year's Walk to Remember and Wave of Light.

Friday, September 16, 2011

A Day at the Fair

A day at the fair, our day at the fair! I had a doctors appointment this morning which was a positive one.We got everything together and went to pick up Mya from school, but she was still asleep. So then we went to get Eddie and Alice. We went back for sleeping beauty.

Once we got to the fair the first thing on Mya's mind was the giant slide that she rode at the AV fair. So Eddie was the lucky one that rode with her this time. We walked around some more and the we found the circus section of the fair. Mya loved to play the games and then there she was Janie the elephant. For the low down fair price of $7 Mya and Eddie rode Janie. As you can see in one of the greatest pictures EVER. Mya is having the time of her life riding Janie.....Eddie, not so much. But don't worry, Eddie came around. By the end of the ride everyone was smiling.

I would have to say the highlight of the fair for Mya was taking her picture will all of those cut outs you put your head in.

After some more pictures and a visit to the dinosaur exhibit we braked for dinner. While we were eating Mya let us all know she needed to go to the restroom with the ever so commonly used phrase at Casa Beserra...."The Pee-pee is coming" So she and I made a made dash to the nearest restroom.

On the way back I say this:
Sophia's name was at the fair. I asked the lady if I could take a picture and then we came to the agreement if I purchased Mya's name for $5 then I could take all the pictures I wanted. So now Mya has her name in her room and I have two pictures of Sophia.

After a trip to the barn yard it was time for WAR. This was Mya's first concert. First she said it was loud and then she said she liked the music. She took turns sitting on Alice and my laps. But she was happy. As soon as we got her back to the wagon she was fast asleep, so we walked around some more to try and see everything we could.

Here is a rare picture of Eddie and I. I know we don't have many but here is one while enjoying my favorite WAR song, Baby Brother.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Saturday, September 10, 2011

In The News.....In My News.

I have spent the last week sending packets out to the 78 hospitals that deliver babies in Los Angeles County. Tuesday when I got to work I got an email from Huntington Hospital. First they thanked me for the packet I mailed, second they asked me to be one of their two guest speakers for "A Night to Remember" on October 12, 2011.

At first I had really mixed feeling on this. I did not know if I should do it our not. But after some major soul searching I think it would be a good idea. So on October 12th I will get to share be beautiful daughters once again with a new crowd of people. I love for people to know about both of my girls and the work I do in Sophia's name.

Now time to work on something to say. Last year I remember being in the shower working on my speech for WTRLA.

Wish me luck!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Sophia in Assisi, Italy

This morning after getting settled at work I got these two pictures from my cousin Alex. 
Alex put these title's on each picture. I could not agree more.

God's beauty 

Stop to enjoy the simplicity of life

Alex just attended WYD in Spain and Italy in August. I asked him before he left if he would do me a huge favor. I asked him if he would write Sophia's name and take a picture so I could add it to her album. So here we are a few weeks later and look what I have.

Thank you so much Alex. This really REALLY made my day. I love anytime anyone thinks of Sophia and thinks of me. Anytime I get Sophia's name I add it here in my blog and I add the pictures to her scapbook. Which I just told a new mom to our club, Courtnee that I still have not worked up the courage to put together Sophia's scrapbook. One day, one day. But for now I have these wonderful pictures to brighten up my day.

Thank you Alex, I love them, I love you!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Sophia in Bolsa Chica, CA

Sophia's name at Bolsa Chica State Beach

A Beach Morning

 This morning bright and early we started out for Bolsa Chica. However after a brief timeout delay for not wanting to meds, Mya and I were off.

I packed the car last night for our long weekend. So we were on our way. We met Alice, Eddie, Johnny, Bea, Yoli, Claudine, and a couple others at Bolsa Chica.

We enjoyed a morning at the beach. Mya loved playing with Chip and Robert. I think the highlight of her day was chasing Seagulls across the beach and playing baby dinosaur with Alice. She enjoyed running around in her swimsuit. She simply enjoyed the day. I enjoyed taking a little nap on the beach before it was time to drive up to Antelope Valley.

While Mya was building sandcastles I took some time to write my two favorite girls names in the sand. I admit it is no Names in the Sand But it is something to add to Sophia's scrapbook. This one is even complete with Mya's feet as she was curious as to what I was doing.
 So since Mya wanted to help she and I did her name too!
So at 1pm we started our journey up to my parents house. Another blog post to follow about that.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

September 1st a day of 1st and a day that I got stuff done.

 My baby started pre-school today. Not only did she start pre-school she also started using her "big girl car seat"

 Last night we picked a new outfit to wear. We got ready for bed and knew when we woke up in the morning it would be time for pre-school.

Mya woke up this morning and decided she was not going to school. Once she got dressed she decided reading on my bed would be so much nicer today than going to school. Because after all I have been telling her as of today she was not allowed to wear sandals to school. Which did not go over well this morning. After my shower we finally got it together. We went in the front of our house to snap a couple of pictures just in case she was not into taking pictures once we got to school. But fortunately for me the pictures at school came out better than the ones from home.

With our new ladybug lunch bag in hand and a quick stop across the street for chocolate milk we were on our way to pre-school in our new car seat. On out journey we talked about why green lights mean go and red lights mean stop. We also talked about all the big trucks we saw on the way.

Once we got to school I learned Mya already knows how to unbuckle herself. Thankfully she did it once we got to school and knows that is the only time she is allowed to unbuckle.

Once we finished our school photo op it was time for the morning kiss and hug and time for my commute. Which today consisted of a train accident adding an extra 40 minutes to my drive.

Tonight I got my flu shot and finished the brocher for WTRLA. I also sent out my fundraising email for "Strolling for Sweet Sophia". I also asked Mya about 47 times to get back in her bed as I was going to be staying up finishing this important stuff. Apparently she knew the important stuff was out of the way because she just woke up to go to the bathroom and come to "Mommy's Bed"... so apparently we will not be adding Mya sleeping in her own bed tonight to the list of accomplishments for the day.

But in other exciting news Monica and I are signing up for a couple of craft shows. I stopped doing craft shows two and half years ago because I did not like doing them alone. So we will give this a go.

So here is to a good day.

{Embrace} The Camera Thursday

Look at that pre-schooler!

That is about all this Mommy has. On my new favorite website Pinterest I saw an idea for documenting first days of school. Since this is Mya's real first day of school I decided to start at tradition. So I give you are "1st day of: Pre-School"

Though it was just like any other day at Montessori School it was Mya's first day in a new classroom and the first day of the school year.

When I picked Mya up from school tonight I asked her how her day was and she simply answered "Fun".  So I guess all and all it was a good day.