Today was Mother's Day. We had dinner with our family. I relaxed as that is what I do these days. I reflected on both of my girls. How I am missing all of Sophia's movements and how active Mya has become.
I still very much want to see Sophia. I feel like I need to say good bye to her. She needs to have that time with her Mommy and Daddy. I feel I need to have that one moment in time that I hold both of my twin girls.
This game of pregnancy is no fun. I am so happy we have made it this far, yet I feel I have a hole in my heart now. I feel guilty for thinking this way. People are always telling me that I will be so blessed to have Mya. I know that but yet I feel like God felt I was not good enough to take care of two. Perhaps I am just not worthy. That bothers me so much.
We have worked so hard to get to this point and I feel like if I have let Sophia down how will I let Mya down.
So though Mother's Day was nice with my family, Mothers Day was not nice to me.