Saturday, December 25, 2010

Midnight Mass

I don't speak too much of religion or politics. I was born and raised Catholic. Mya is baptized Catholic, she has only been to mass 4 times since she was born. I do not see how I could handle taking Mya to mass alone so I have chosen to start taking her after she turns 3.

Tonight was the first time I went to Midnight Mass. My parents got to our house about 10:00. We had the plan of going to Midnight Mass. So we all got ourselves together about 11:30 and headed over to Immaculate Conception which is 5 blocks from my house. I honestly had no idea what to expect for a Midnight Mass. Further more I did not know how I would feel about going back to church. It was very important that we baptised Mya very young, though Eddie and I have different feelings on this. The first thing my mom and I noticed was how beautiful the church was and how it was decorated.

Since we found out Sophia was ill I have always felt why did God do the to me? Have I not been through enough and now this? Well one of the things that was spoken about what being at peace with yourself during this time of year. I thought this mass must have been said for Sophia and I. There were so many subtle reminders of Sophia throughout the church and throughout the mass.

They even had a candle lighting at the end of mass. How perfect was this to remind me of my sweet angel. I left Immaculate Conception thinking 2011 will be the year I make an attempt to reconnect with my religion.
I look at some of my fellow BLM and think how could they be OK with God's plan. Though it is personal for everyone I have to say I admire all of these Mom's for being OK with God's plan. Or even how Eddie rationally says this is the way things have to be. Yet me the over thinker is now just starting to work on being OK.

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